The Great Frog Escape of '03
by TheWarriorQueen
Summary: Silly fluff moment involving a misbehaving amphibian, Ginny and Harry, the phrase "Harry James Potter, you remove that frog this instant!" and taking little James Sirius to the Magical Menagerie. Written for A'tuinIsLost. Oneshot. Complete.


**Silly fluff moment involving a misbehaving amphibian, Ginny and Harry, the phrase "Harry James Potter, you remove that frog this instant!" and taking little James Sirius to the Magical Menagerie. Written for A'tuinIsLost.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything but the old lady who jumps to conclusions. She is taken from one of my in progress original fictions, and is really called Mrs. Deckerstrand.**

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Ginny grasped her son's sticky hand firmly (she was not going to think about why it was sticky) and hurried them from the shop. Harry remained behind, placating the irate owner with an autograph, a bag of Galleons to pay for damages, and the promise that he would publicly endorse the business. As soon as they were out of earshot, the vivacious redhead began to laugh. It didn't matter that people were staring at her like she was crazy, that the Prophet reporters were speculating on why she and her (unfortunately) white blouse were soaked with water, she just had to laugh. Little James tugged on her hand, and she crouched down to better hear the toddler's statement. "Mummy not mad?" asked the little boy, his face crinkled into the picture of seriousness.

"No, sweetie. Not at you, and not at Daddy," Ginny reassured him before breaking into peals of mirth again. For once, she was grateful to have grown up with six mischievous brothers, as it had been good preparation for days like today.

_(Half an hour ago)_

"Mummy, go see kitties!" exclaimed James, bouncing up and down in her arms, wriggling and pointing to the window of the Magical Menagerie, where a litter of Kneazle kittens played with each other. Ginny smiled and glanced at Harry, who nodded, beaming indulgently.

The family of three entered the shop, and were veritably assaulted by noise and colour. Little James squiggled about until he was finally lowered to the ground and allowed to look at all the creatures around him. Ginny and Harry watched him in amusement, Harry sliding an arm around his wife's waist as they stood by the Greater Toasted Newt tanks. "Mummy, why cage open?" asked James curiously. Ginny's eyes widened. There was indeed a tank in the amphibian/reptile section slightly ajar, and empty.

"Harry, what was in there?" asked Ginny nervously, backing away from the cage. Toads, frogs, spiders… These she could handle if she was prepared for them, but ever since the Basilisk incident she was very shy of snakes.

Unbeknownst to her, Harry had seen the cage's inhabitant escape, and was allowing his Marauder genes out to play. "A Brazilian asp," he replied, winking at James as he slipped a creature into his pocket. "No use trying to head away from the tank, that's what the snake's doing too."

Ginny let out a little whimper, backing towards Harry. The other customers began to edge towards the door. "Hang on," she said suddenly. "That sticker says it was a tree-frog, not an asp! What made you say it was?"

"Mischief managed," grinned Harry. Ginny's shoulders slumped in relief as she giggled. Suddenly the frog, so far prevented from completing its frantic bid for freedom, leapt out of Harry's pocket, straight into James' path. Before the adults could see where it had gotten to, he gripped it firmly in his pudgy hands and hid it behind his back. As Ginny turned and bent down to help look for the missing creature, her back was to both Potter males, a dangerous position to be in. Little James tugged up the hem of her shirt and stuffed the amphibian in.

When Ginny felt the slimy, wet presence on her back, she shrieked. The other customers thought that whatever had frightened the wife of the Boy-Who-Lived must be a beast most terrible, and precipitately fled, knocking over the cage of Kneazle kittens as they did so. The smart cat-like animals immediately saw their own chance to escape, and started unlatching the bird cages, which did, after all, have simple enough latches to lift with a nose. Pandemonium broke out.

"Harry James Potter, you remove that frog this instant!"

"It wasn't me, I swear! Mischief was already managed!" Harry defended himself whilst delving about to find the rather nimble frog.

"Well if it wasn't you, who was it? Are you about to blame little James or something ridiculous?" Suddenly she froze, and glanced at her toddler, who looked up at her with a hopeful expression on his face.

"Mithchief managed?"

Just when they thought it could get no more chaotic, an old lady entered the shop, took one look at Ginny's expression, and Harry's hands down her shirt, and drew her own conclusions. "How dare you! That is appalling behaviour, and from Harry Potter no less! Unhand that young lady this instant!" She brought her umbrella down on Harry's head firmly.

Harry reeled back; unfortunately he failed to extract the offending hands from his wife's shirt, and they both tumbled back into a tank containing mildly venomous puffer-fish. The glass broke (the old lady had quite the strong arm when it was raised in defence of an innocent) and they were covered by the water. Harry had the presence of mind to pull out his wand and repair the damage before any of the fish flooded out, and so they were spared the excruciating boils that would have resulted.

Apparently the old lady was not satisfied by this, and raised her wand angrily. Suddenly little James came racing out from under the shelves, where he had very wisely taken cover. He shouted, "No hurt Mummy and Daddy!" The old lady looked rather taken aback, even more so when the little frog hopped out from the neck of Ginny's blouse and croaked cheerfully whilst perched on her nose. James scampered over and picked up the tree-frog, holding it carefully in between cupped hands.

"Oh," said the old lady. There really wasn't much else to say. She hurried out the shop, her umbrella knocking over a Niffler's cage as she left.

The owner marched over indignantly, having just emerged from where he was cowering under the counter. "What is going on here?" he demanded, looking at the scene and, like the old lady before him, leaping to his own erroneous conclusions. "Well! If you wish to have a… _romp _with your wife, this is not the establishment for you! Your son is a menace who needs a good hiding, and you have effectively chased all of my customers away!"

Harry replied coldly, "My son is no menace; he is a playful two-year-old. Yes, his prank may have been ill-timed, and it caused a mess, for which I am sorry, but you have no right to interfere in our parenting. Have you ever heard the real story of Harry Potter? The little boy who lived in a cupboard until he was ten whilst his spoiled cousin had two bedrooms? I love my family dearly, and strive daily to avoid erring on either side of the spectrum. I do my best to not pamper him, and to make sure that he grows up with the love I did not have. And as for a 'romp' with my wife, I ask you, would I be doing so in front of my impressionable toddler? Think!" He turned to his son. "That said, James, you did cause quite a disturbance today, so you need to apologize to this gentleman."

The little boy nodded vehemently, straightened his red and blue checked jacket, and turned to the owner of the shop. "Sowwy I made a meth. I din't mean to." He looked mournful for a moment, but then brightened up. "But wathn't Mummy funny?"

Ginny hid her grin. How do you stay stern when the little boy really does regret his mistake, but still sees the humour in it? This is one of parenting's greatest mysteries. Thinking about Harry firmly defending his son - yet still gently reprimanding him - made her once again proud of the fine man he had become. She looked at her little boy who was now determinedly purchasing the frog whose escape had sparked the whole debacle and hoped he'd also turn out just as fine.

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**Well, I hope you enjoyed this little bit of mayhem. :D**

**TheWarriorQueen**


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